fugitive thoughts
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
...

Dulce Pontes & Amalia Rodriguez -Cancao do Mar

I`m sitting on the edge

On top of this lonely rock;

It`s me between the sky and the sea.

It would be so easy to jump

Breaking the space within

Knowing there`s no more to take.

But this thought is not mine;

I`m stubborn enough to decline.

 

These mirrors of waves

Are the images of life as a sea

 


The world tears made it salty

But for every dream she got a fish

The colours hidden deep down its blue bottom

Are the essence of my vivid hopes

She`s pure, mysterious and merciless.

 

Imagine how many people watched the very same waves

How many told her their secrets

It`s a silent pact between man and the water

Witnessed by the sky; she`s a keeper

 

 

I`m here to relax and contemplate

On top of the world, at the gates of infinite

I kneel and take a stone

And throw it far away.

Peace and contentment took over me

I`m going back to where I came from


Posted by ramobtr at 10:58 PM
Updated: Tuesday, 21 October 2008 11:21 PM
Tuesday, 11 July 2006
Monologue of a leaf

My flight was never neat
but troubles didn`t make me quit
how many time shall I repeat
I was happy a little bit.

And now the fall it`s fully here
the scary wind blows in my ear
my sister leaves are falling near
but darling, falks! I do not fear!

I know someday it will be better
but I`ll be so far from younger
knowing how to deal with anger
I will be wrinkled and be balder.

Young and naive or old and wise
what do you think you can advise?
please don`t be thinkers in disguise
cause you`ll get treated otherwise

But let it be cause time will tell
and I will be wealthy and well
a leaf that didn`t go to hell
but waited for the morning bell.

Now I am green and young and proud
and don`t do mixing with the crowd
although sometimes I see a cloud
over my head.but I`m allowed

I`ve spoken words and I`ve seen faces
I`ve had my dreams turned into ashes;
there were times when I heard voices
telling me to write some sketches.

I didn`t lose my hope, although
there were some rainy days, no rainbow
but there was joy and laughter also
and fireworks some time ago.

That`s me, a proud and vivid leaf
sometimes I smile sometimes I grief.
from time to time I play the chief
and very seldom, I`m a thief

I steal moments from your time
and make you rapid read my rhyme
although I don`t give a dime
if you like it or you mime.


A naguhty leaf tricking the fall
who wants to rise above you all
takes off her hat and takes a bow
so long my friends, goodbye, ciao ciao

Posted by ramobtr at 10:28 AM
Saturday, 31 December 2005
Sorrow
heaven is watching my struggle
my questions, my hunger, my stumble
there`s energy i have to unleash
and moments that i have to cherish

what`s the use of pointing the finger
of judgement,imprisonment, of anger
when the book was opened for me
there were no grounds to bear my knee

therefore,i stand up to pray
but I could hardly obey
the rules;in my sorrow
I got empty and narrow

i`m hanging on to all my dreams
although scared and bruised
when obstacles along the path
the pilgrim gets confused

i`m flesh and blood with expectations
no higher than my peace of mind
who does strive for revelations
how can i wait when you seem blind.

Posted by ramobtr at 10:46 AM
Updated: Tuesday, 11 July 2006 10:27 AM
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
*********************
Mood:  blue

Some time ago, I was so angry with life that I questioned God's hand on my shoulder. Please read on and never repeat my mistake; although I rebelled, God blessed me in so many wonderful ways; all my life is not sufficient to thank Him enough.

 "Time was spilling its daily venom... my attempt to escape routine failed because there was no soul available to drag me out of my inner swamp. Everything came from there:my wandering heart; she sheltered pains, passions, questions, goals, nurturing caffeine thoughts. My projects have broken wings. People dislike truthfull natures, therefore they will do whatever it takes to shut you down. Really? mmm. Human behaviour obeys the law of minimal effort says a french scholar, Andre Martinet.
I dare to correct his error: human behaviour obeys the law of personal gain. Full Stop.
Who would waste time on you if he doesn`t get something in return? nobody. If the individual you like to proudly call your friend, would ever find the time and courage to listen to you, support you or even tell you you`re wrong, don`t fool yourself, payback time it`s ajust around the corner.
Next time he`s in trouble you`ll be the shoulder he`ll cry on. should it be like this? Conditional relationship?
Why not?! It`s a vicious circle, we give and expect to receive,
otherwise we will channel our energies towards somebody else.
Hey , what about my mom, she always gave me the best of everything or at least tried to.
Well, she expects respect, reasons to be proud of me and eventually care when she`ll be old enough to need it.

Words ran thru my foggy mind, but everytime i wanted to arrange them in a revealing sentence, I got scared and backed off. Who would listen? God. oh, no, God is doubtfully rejecting my prayers.
Maybe i`m not persuasive enough, who knows? one day i asked for the peace of mind. All Igot was a piece of pie, some neighbour brought me in exchange of a chair she barrowed.

As I was walking nearby a playground, I heard children murmuring. I stopped for a while,  took a look. So innoncent and fragile and though, so full of demands. They laugh as long as they own the favourite toy, as long as they`re pampered enough, as long as nobody endangers their beloved playground. We were born self`centered, even if we like it or not. Universe starts evolving around us since the moment we get into this world.

In fact, I don`t know why the idea of self`centered individuals became tabu`. Which is totally
wrong. If Iam the center of my little world, then I get the maximum, I offer, evaluate, expand myself. To the benefit of everything and everybody around. I would be engaged in a productive process,
which will encounter development. On the other hand ,i can see myself alone, crying my eyes out. No solid pillars to lean on,
no friendly ground to sustain my weakening steps. Totally depressing atmosphere.
Which picture would you choose? Obviously, the first one, having me in the middle.

I interrupt a leaf`s flight to the ground.
She`s still green and such in a hurry to cover the earth, like an obediant servant. Being a leaf seems so simple,being human it`s terrifying."

 

May you who read this post not know sorrow, may God bless you. 


Posted by ramobtr at 12:01 AM
Updated: Monday, 25 February 2008 12:07 AM
Thursday, 8 December 2005
I WAS TOLD
I was told once to fully worship and believe
Although I wasn`t even able to perceive
I was told stories about human kind
Taught to give, forgive, pretend I`m blind

Blink of an eye, I had my universe destroyed
I became frightened, shocked, amazed, annoyed
I thought people would help me overpass
They didn`t... only pushed me to collapse.

I`ve never seen the mercy in their eyes
They know only to cheat, to steal and to tell lies
How could I ever trust a single word
When their tongues cut me like a sword?

How could I take my time to smell the flowers
When the rainbow bows in front of chaos
And the leaves prepare a diabolic feast
No cross, no candles, not even a priest.

Posted by ramobtr at 12:01 AM
Updated: Sunday, 9 April 2006 9:19 AM
Tuesday, 1 November 2005
For that Frantic Friday
Mood:  amorous
Had not a single soul to hold,
the night had turned scary and cold;
trashy thoughts came up my thinking
ready to leave without blinking

Then, out of the blue you came
i thought of you as: a funny name.
Though,you took me to a special place
and didn`t ask for an embrace.

I worshipped sunsets long before
but that one was just to adore,
cause waters, skies and golden sand
spoke to me.You took my hand and

Let the guitar melt my defenses
and the music stir my senses;
let your smile dig in my heart
and set base for a fresh start.

Cruel and vengeful plans got broken
cause u made me laugh. unspoken
words came out and cleared the way
i hope you are here to stay.

Posted by ramobtr at 12:01 AM
Updated: Tuesday, 1 November 2005 12:28 AM
Monday, 1 August 2005
******
walking careless on the empty street
the only place that i might fit
because the pinky hourglass
got stuck again.and time won`t pass

it was like running in a tiny circle
made of questions.can we mingle?
your side of story, also mine
communicating will be fine.

there is no bargain, not tonight
maybe staring at the moonlight
what do you think? are you aware?
i will be asking you to share.


let`s break the boundaries within
embrace each other, let us spin
ask the rainbow to be witness
to our very sparkle kiss.

Posted by ramobtr at 11:01 PM
Updated: Friday, 27 August 2010 9:02 AM
Saturday, 18 June 2005
stuck in time
it`s like everything around moves, evolves, degenerates even; she`s the only one standing still. hardly breathing, the fear of making another stept just kills the desire to go on. emptiness it`s full of dull noises;
the thunder of her words should have cut her throat , instead it did hurt my heart, like a dagger thru the petals.
foggy thoughts pouring out of her mouth; there is nothing sacred anymore, she lost her innocence when she made her first mature decision. the child inside herself must have been neutralized by the rush to grow up.

smiles are fake and boredom is in bloom, hands start trembling when it comes to uncovering the illusionary bed of sorrows. everybody seems distant, she is distracted and he is missing.
feelings dragging her down, amidst time`s most pleasant duties: memories. they fall like red curtains , softly touching her inner strength, weakening her defenses; tears would come out of sore eyes, but they will doubtfully blind her judegement, therefore she restrains from being human.
silently grabbing the curtain, she reveals long lost deeds,emotions, feelings; they purify her soul and make the darkness seem less unbearable.
rays coming thru the dirty window...wind and rain drew their path, leaving a muddy glass behind. it happens the same with her...getting rusty with the time. valuable though, every bit of a dirt spread on her coat symbolizes the struggle she`s been going on for years.
a glimpse of joy illuminates her cheeks; that`s silently screaming her loneliness. as she touches the deck, the cards spread suddenly, with the Queen of Swords dominating the picture. Whispering, she sets fire to the rest of the deck. Holding the Queen card in her left hand , she is waving it in the mirror. the queen was the symbol of goal-pursuers. One step ahead, she dismisses her private griefs, and turns to the open window, in a perceptive manner. There were birds making their way to the greenish leaves, and children rumouring in the garden. Their obvious joy and naivity fills the air, filtered by the almighty sun.

Posted by ramobtr at 11:01 PM
Updated: Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:54 PM
Thursday, 9 June 2005
********************************************************************
I was the pillar who supported you
when, tired and burdened, you wanted to lean on
i was the fresh raindrops that softly washed away your grief.
lifting you up made the moon embrace our love
being your morning smile was deliriously thrilling

what devilish power invaded your soul
what cruel ambitions took over your life?
you buldozed the pillar, and put over your head
the silence`s umbrella. were love`s roses
having too many thorns?
the moon keeps hiding behind the clouds
and my unanswered questions go deeper
than your unquestioned answer.

this pair of scissors that cut the thread
were rusty enough to wound
i don`t blame you for lacking the courage
to nurture love... I`m asking the wind
to guide your footsteps on the path you chose

love it`s the sin of pure souls
and lies are the craddle of twisted minds
the trap u fell in it`s pleasant and sweet
but it won`t be long before it starts bleeding.

there`s faith in my heart and prayers on my lips
that`s what makes me bless your leaving;
let my tears pay for your happiness
and my cold nights balance your escapades.

there`s a shell out there for every pearl
and a shining star for each one of us
me knowing you was the rock i had to stumble upon
and fall, in order to get up;
you betraying me it`s the first step to the end of a new beginning.

shiny be your life and humble your ways
there`s love in my heart till the end of days
i cherish the moments you rightfully gave
knowing from now, u will never have
cause chances were missed, and words left unspoken
no strings attached, love chain`s broken

Posted by ramobtr at 11:01 PM
Updated: Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:55 PM
Sunday, 5 June 2005
*********
she`s running out of time and the unexpected scares the hell out of her. another dawn it`s just around the corner and nobody knows what it just might bring. limitations narrow her ways; she`s powerless and indecidisive.
curly actions take their course into the unknown , her heart gets ready to beat all over again. never knows what life has in store. she wants to share and compare, adore and never bore, laugh and slap, cry and lye , dance and romance, she wants to fall into pieces and get herself together in his arms. it`s just the part of her that needs to be caressed , embraced and loved. she`s a machinery that kills dreams and hopes in order to release new desires,set new goals, more or less attainable. she uses love as primary fuel and gets rusty when forgotten.
she needs him in order to complete her, she cherishes his footsteps in the sand when she covers them with her own , she tells him how precious he is, because he`s seen through her eyes .
tears go down her cheeks, covering the smile he put on her face when he sweet talked. She was ready to hear bells, but all she can enjoy it`s the silence breaking it`s echo over the sadness.
she was well aware when he trapped her into his heart, locked her inside and got back to his realistic way of life, he`s got errands to run.
Wish he could stop the marathon and take a look around, notice the details and then release her.
The more grief she gathers, the stronger her desires become. When he doesn`t hear her words, she sinks them in the sea of sarcasm and promises herself to never use them again.
Written words are silent swords, cutting deep thru her illusions. she sees what she feels and still, takes the agony for granted. The world is chaotic and all that matters is the bond that keeps them together. she dislikes being torn apart by ignorance, forgotton in a corner , haunted by happy moments which will help her make it thru the night. Nothing can stop her from loving and nobody has the right to take advantage of light.
Time is ticking, drop by drop, clear waters flodding the sky, flames fading away, lilies have mud on their petals...

Posted by ramobtr at 11:01 PM
Updated: Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:56 PM

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